Back in the "old days", when I was a kid, I'd get bored when my sisters were off doing things with their friends and the neighbor kids were busy. We didn't have computer games or cable TV. We didn't have dvd players and libraries of movies. And my parents were the adults and had the last word. "You'll survive."
At the age of 8, when I complained to my mom that Grandma Jo made her granddaughter--my neighbor & friend, Debbie, beautiful Barbie doll clothes and "I wanted beautiful Barbie Doll clothes!", my mom took the time to teach me to sew. When I got squirmy during Sunday church services that were over my head, she taught me to draw. When summer vacations from school stretched before me and she was busy working long hours in her home salon, she took the time to teach me to craft. All lessons that I still enjoy to this day.
Now-a-days, a parent might buy a new movie or the newest game app as a quick fix vs. taking the sacrifice of time to teach their kids timeless, useful and rewarding activities. I've witnessed people standing in line at the Marathon with their kid and they hand their kid their cell phone. Instead of teaching their child the art of waiting well or respectfully, they distract her with a "quick-fix" that is the simple beginning to an unhealthy addiction. My having no quick-fixes to my boredom and being taught to wait well became an advantage that I'm now grateful for.
The fact that kids now have little to no time to get bored--and I'm talking about kids under the age of 10--could that have any relation to many of them experiencing anxiety and depression? Not just a reaction to disappointment or being frustrated, but real on-going anxiety and depression!!
Are we adults so busy that we encourage our children's busy-ness? Whether it's because we consider busy-ness to be a badge of importance or our busy-ness takes priority over teaching them important life lessons and encouraging them in the gift of working with their hands? I have to wonder. It's tough. I get it. I was a single mom. I screwed up a lot, too.
Time is not just something to fill with busy-ness. It's also to be used to heal our minds and our bodies. It's easier to find time to relax our bodies but do we take the time to relax our minds? I have to admit that "quiet" often makes me feel restless.
Is what we do in the moments in between our planned activities worth the preciousness of the gift of time? If the point of it is to relax us, do we feel relaxed, peaceful and rejuvenated after we do it? Hmmm. Not always. Winning a game of Spider Solitaire doesn't have relaxing effects on me. A sense of pride, maybe, but relaxation, no. And what's there to be proud about? Really?
I struggle with the sense of feeling as if I have to be accomplishing something. Always earning my way--even when it isn't necessary. My current struggle is: not relying on background noise, like music or TV shows constantly playing in the background while I work at home. Even as I sit here writing about it, my leg is jiggling a mile a minute. I can feel anxiousness rising in me to get moving. I have to learn to turn it off. To embrace unmerited acceptance. To enjoy just the "doing" without any need to accomplish. To just be.
I'm not dissing all unnecessary enjoyment as much as I'm wanting to draw attention to how often we choose it over something that matters so much more. Something we too often ignore and push aside. Taking the time to experience real, inner peace. Like meditating on the healing love of Jesus.
