FOOLISH TALK & EMPTY WORDS

I was re-reading a scripture from my pastor's Sunday sermon. It was an exceptional message themed, "Life That's Too Great Not To Be Lived".  One of the scriptures used was Ephesians 5:14-16 (NIV), "...Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead and Christ will shine on you. Be very careful then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."
I wanted to get a better understanding of what Paul was talking about so I went back to the beginning of chapter 5 and began to read.

Let me stop & inject that I feel that there is a reason for everything and the life of the believer is not his own. Once I asked Christ to be my Lord, I invited Him to "move in" and take up residence inside of me. Now there are two spirits inside of me, my own & the Holy Spirit. They are in agreement and so they are joined. Now when I'm led towards God, I can be sure it's His Spirit doing the leading. So, when I'm led to read into (study) the Word, I can be assured that there's something specific He wants me to hear and understand.

Chapter 5 of Ephesians talks about "foolish talk" and "coarse jesting" amongst the general theme of being God imitators. So I looked up "foolish talk".  I don't struggle as much with "coarse jesting" because I was raised with 2 sisters and a polished, feminine mother. We weren't exposed to that kind of talk as children and weren't even allowed to use what my mom considered unladylike words. But the foolish talk--if indeed that meant silliness and teasing, well, I would be in big trouble.

I read some commentaries online to get more perspective. One that I was moved by was called "Foolish talk & empty words" written by Elsie Montgomery back in 2009. She helped bring light to the subject by including some history about the Ephesians:
 "For one thing, the city of Ephesus had a reputation. It's people were "well-turned" or ready at repartee, also know as "jocose" and "persiflage" and "badinage" all words meaning witty conversation. In Ephesus, this was far from being censured; in fact, the Ephesians thought such banter was a pleasant accomplishment. The Greek word translated "coarse jesting" is eutrapelia and found nowhere else in the New Testament. The commentaries say this word applies a particular versatility which turns about and adapts itself, without regard to principle, to the shifting circumstances of the moment, and to the varying moods of those with whom it may deal. In other words, it is speaking according to the world, not according to the Spirit and principles of the Lord Jesus Christ. Colossians 3:8 uses a different word, but it conveys the same idea that "filthy communication" and "foolish talking" are a false refinement. These words describe conversations that are seasoned with a selfish, "look at how clever I am" attitude. Christians are not to talk like that. Instead our words are to be seasoned with grace."

When something uncomfortable is brought to my attention, it's my go-to response to put up a quick wall and "protect" the thing that appears under attack. But when the Holy Spirit is leading me in His gentle way, one that assures ultimate safety and a positive result for my effort,  I am more open to learn; to consider; to open myself up to a gentle cleaning. Sometimes a good scrubbing is in need but He allows me to do the scrubbing. He just points out the dirty spots.

Anyway, looking up these words, "foolish talk" and "coarse jesting", I found they were indeed what I expected.
Empty words-- words that don't uplift or they serve no purpose in living a godly life.
Double talk-- saying one thing while meaning another--ouch.
Ridicule-- whether harsh or soft.
Insincere talk-- teasing, ending in "just kidding".
I struggle to correct this kind of talk in myself because it can be fun and helps keep conversation interesting and if I'm completely honest, makes me "feel" more interesting. But to what cost to others and ultimately to me? What was my motive and caused me to pick this habit up in the first place? This is the place where God is concerned about. What motivates us. Is it centered around "self"? Even if it seems innocent, if it's not controlled it can take over; become part of what defines us.

My mom used to have a hair salon in an area off of our home. I could hear the ladies talking and laughing. I remember one in particular. A wealthy lady who didn't act snooty or above any one else but had a very dry sense of humor. She wasn't necessarily pretty but people took notice of her. She was very quick witted and sharp with a comeback. She had spoken to me in this manner once, and I recall how her quick sandpaper-like words ripped across my tender 7 year old feelings. She was strong. I admired her for that. I wanted to be admired like that too. (She also had a nice home and a built in swimming pool and a young girl might be silly for adding that to her list of attributes but it certainly made an impression on me.) Also in years later, growing up, learning to laugh at and make jokes about myself when someone said something hurtful or unkind, became a way of self defense until I could be strong minded and quick witted enough to "dish it back", so to speak, or first, before I could become a target.

 V.4 says, "Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." So if I would consider exchanging my teasing and sarcastic remarks with thanksgiving, which would seem more out of place in my conversation? If the thanksgiving, then I have to admit that my reasoning behind my words are not proper for a "holy" child of God to be speaking.  Such a hard lesson to hear and so difficult to change old habits. Like I said before, our environments we're raised in might explain why we face the battles we do, to be Holy, but they don't justify our continuing in those  habits when the Holy Spirit chooses to enlighten us to what is God's best for us. And if you're reading this, you can believe that the Holy Spirit is planting a seed of change; a desire to open your heart to something that is not good for you or for the kingdom you now represent. That doesn't mean we'll change overnight or that we can do it by sheer determination and will never "oops" back into an old habit. It does mean that with admitting that it is indeed wrong, therefore harmful to us, and giving the desire to protect ourselves over to God, ask for His strength and courage and wisdom; we then ask that He take the desire for the accolades away because we want to bring Him attention, not ourselves. He is always about loving us to wholeness and will lead us away from unhealthy desires into freedom if we choose.

I've learned that whenever I've wanted to give up a bad habit, it has always been imperative to replace it with a good one. Leaving an idle, empty space in my personal habits always led back to the old habit. Brings to mind the scripture in Matthew 12:43-45 about a man who an evil spirit is driven out of. The spirit goes away but comes back and finds the place where he left has not been "filled" so he not only comes back to the man but brings more evil spirits with him so that the man is in worse shape than before! So, where in the past, when someone said something hurtful, I may have come back with something equally as hurtful to do equal damage, or laugh and come up with a sarcastic response to defend myself with an attitude of "you can't hurt me!".  Responding like this keeps me a victim of the devil. If I choose this response, he now knows how to keep me from moving forward towards the life Jesus died to give me by encouraging me to distance myself from people so that they can't hurt me. But my effectiveness as a witness has also been eliminated, .  My response carries far more importance than just defending my honor. It's up to me to throw offensive & hurtful words off and take myself out of the line of fire as a target and into that same line of fire as a catcher's mitt. I use that analogy because I want you to understand that you can catch the hurtful words before they get to your heart. It's good to evaluate what others say and see if there is anything of value that you could take from them so that you can apologize for your own hurtful behavior but by catching the words, you can consider the circumstances of the "pitcher" and better empathize where it's coming from. It frees you to lift them up in prayer and reach out to them in love by overlooking their ignorance, fear, hurt or pain  and respecting that God loves them as much as you, rather than be on the defensive which is putting yourself first.

You may think that they're getting away with being hurtful but God will deal with them in their own time, teaching them with the same gentile love and understanding as He's dealing with our foolish or thoughtless words even now. Even when I don't intend for my words to hurt, if I'm not carefully considering them before I speak, I have not been wise. "Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead (being inactive), and Christ will shine on you (show you the way). Be very careful then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity (to be a light to the world), because the days are evil.

 This blog is never meant to bring judgement of our pasts but to encourage us in our futures to be the best that we can be so that we can live that life that's free of the junk that holds us back from joy and peace.

May God bless you and your family!!

Chris

Living Life In The Fast Lane

(Not Counting The Cost Of Decision-making)

Do you ever feel lazy? I'm not just talking -feel like not doing the dishes right away after supper-- but spiritually lazy? 

It just comes naturally to ignore my better judgement (that which always comes AFTER I've eaten too much or purchased something on a whim. So, I know good judgement's available beforehand). It's so much easier than disciplining myself. But is it really?

 Years of allowing this lack of discipline to compound the problem pass and then what would have taken just a moment; taking the time to think it through, weigh the consequences, then saying a quick "NO" to my flesh, now is a mountain of unhappiness and more work than I feel I am able to follow through with. 

Living life easy brings momentary happiness, but the cost is long lasting difficulty & regret; whereas living a disciplined life (not easy) brings momentary discomfort; but the reward is long lasting freedom and happiness.

 Lord please remind me of this with EVERY decision I will make today.

Some of these decisions that I still am living with the consequences:
Sex before marriage.
Unexpected pregnancies.
Not staying in a job long enough.
Staying at a job longer than I should.
Eating things that taste good to feel better.
Eating what ever I want, whenever I get the urge.
Talking too much--revealing too much.
Putting too much emphasis on looks and not enough on personality.
Shopping to feel better.
Staying in hurtful relationships because of a sense of duty.
Impatience. 
Expecting a "quick fix" to be long lasting.

Just to name a few. 

I pray that you (the one God has lead to read this) & I, being conscious of His love & desire to help us, will live life to the fullest and will make good decisions based on wisdom and not whim. Amen.

Blessings to you,

Chris 

Grace

January 15, 2015 at 8:33am

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Christ incarnated in me is the hope of

incarnating Christ in the one who has hurt me.

Yet how do I admit that someone made in the image of God

can make me blind to God,

my own soul contorting?*

Stop. Think.

No--stop. See God.

Let God have my thoughts.

Let my heart soften in His presence.

Not so that the sin against me is gotten away with

but so that it might be covered over

by the grace of being in HIs presence.

Strength & beauty revealed.

Sin dies.

Demons flee

and the previously bound are confused

by their freedom.

Grace.

*Quote is taken from Ann Voskamp in "one thousand gifts", paraphrased by me.

   STOP, LOOK AND LISTEN

  Ever feel like your mind is going in a million different directions at the same time? I feel this way, waaay to often. I have this bad habit of starting something because it's a good idea. But it rarely goes smoothly and I run into roadblocks that leave me with the option to vary off of the course I'm on. The next thing I know, wham! there's another roadblock. Vary. Wham, another. etc. etc. Finally I get to a place where I no-longer feel in charge of the situation and the decisions I need to make to proceed are beyond my wisdom or capabilities. I'm left feeling incompetent, frustrated, lost, annoyed, confused and like I've wasted a lot of valuable time. 
    It's easy at that point for the old devil to take over and encourage me with names like "loser", "pathetic" and "failure". I know now, after some hard life lessons, that I can choose; yes it is my choice, to believe him and eat my way through every chip & cookie bag in the house or I can stop, take a breath and talk to my papa (God). Some questions I ask are, "Okay, what is it you want me to learn from this?, What do you want to show me? If this isn't the direction You want me to take, will You show me what is?" If I then just clean up the mess I've started and let go of the situation, I at least have peace. I still may not have an answer but I have peace so that when God does choose to reveal something to me, I'm in the right frame of mind to "hear" it.
     I'm the type of female who struggles with speeding. (Ha ha, no, not in my car. I'm a granny sometimes when it comes to driving.) I have trouble not plowing through my day without much thought. I do get a lot done if I don't have any of those road blocks I mentioned earlier. But if it's something new or requires more effort than I can muster, I'm likely to walk away thinking I will get back to it and then start something else. I do it all the time. It's ridiculous! I can't even go to the bathroom without taking the mail, a book or grabbing for my makeup bag. Seriously! So with my personality and past history, I've come to believe, as the Waterboy's mama would say,

multitasking is :

of the devil!!

      

Again, Stop, Look and Listen. I have to stop before I go head on to another project. I Breathe. I Pray, asking one or all those questions I suggested and any more I can think of. Then, I take time to listen. If I don't hear anything right away, I thank Him for peace, for saving me from wasting any more time; clean up, (the clean up step is important so it's not hanging over my head) and then if I have time and ambition, start something else (hopefully less stressful).

     Life's not about how many projects I get done or how fast I do them. It's about maintaining peace so that God can use me for His glory. And it's always His desire for me to enjoy a good life. Think of how difficult it would be for me to lead anyone to Him if I was always feeling stressed out and unfulfilled. Remember to "Stop, Look & Listen and...
     Live the Blessed Life!   

                                     Chris

Starting a Blog

     Starting a blog has been one of the most difficult things I've ever done. I get the notion one moment and then get discouraged by all the details and I talk myself out of it. It just follows my life. I've been through so much (excuse my crassness) crap that I'm like one of those little wind-up cars that go in one direction until it bumps into something. Then it backs up, turns a circle and heads in another direction. This continues on and on and if you watch it, it just keeps going in the same circles! I'm ready to move on so pass or fail, if I keep my eyes on the right goal, failure won't even be an issue.
So, starting a blog sounds simple, right? You just write something and hope people like it & are interested enough to read it. But then you have to choose a name; a name you'll be stuck with so you better like it and not only today, but tomorrow and next week and next year, and so on. (I can't even shop without putting something back that I've carried around the store for an hour-drives my hubs buggy. My name is well known in the Customer Service department because I often change my mind about something I've bought. I end up not liking it or more often than not, decide I don't really need it.) When you finally decide on a name it's already taken. And what about a URL? I had to Google it to find out what it was. 
     After jumping that hurdle, there are all the well-meaning "tricks of the trade" to get your blog to stand out; then there's the expenses if you really want your blog to be successful. Maybe your blog can even generate an income. A person can get really overwhelmed fast. It's like I started out wanting to open up a lemonade stand and now, all of a sudden I'm looking for investors so I can write a few paragraphs!
     I've started this blog a lot of times and ended up scrapping it each time because of some "well known blogger crime" I've committed. In the end, I realized that this, just like everything else in my life, is a God thing. (yes, mentioning God is one of the many blogger laws I'll break that hinders a "successful" blog, so I've been told). It's He who inspires me and whom I can't make it through a day without. If my blog is read by anyone, it's because He led them to me. If it is successful, it is because He inspires me and sees a good purpose for it. If it fails, it's because He wants to take me in a new direction. But for now, I feel led to write.
Report me to the blogger police if you feel inclined. This girl doesn't want to be like that little wind-up car anymore.

                                       Chris