Yesterday, our pastor gave another compelling message. This one was how Satan vandalized mens hearts--twisting and perverting them with pride by placing doubt about the truth of the word of God in our minds. He introduced reasoning, which opened the door to rebellion against God's authority. And we continue to fall prey to this same trick over & over & over!
Rebellion & pride are siblings. Reasoning is their weapon of choice. They turn our eyes constantly inward. What about me? Why is this happening to me? Why don't I ever get...? Why do I always have to...? "Why, God, why...? When, God, when...?" as Joyce Meyer puts it.
But, what Satan means for evil, God can & will use for good. He "works all things together for the good of those who love Him." We just need to let Him and that means--stop dwelling on ourselves and what isn't fair or right. Justice belongs to God. We tell ourselves that we believe it until we don't see it taking place. But the perfect timing for justice also belongs to Him. And our "solo" isn't the only performance in the concert if you know what I mean. God is the great conductor of an immense orchestra so the justice He brings will offer immeasurable amounts of grace to our offender--the same as He has done for us whenever we have needed it. It's sometimes hard to swallow the gift of grace being offered to people who continue to hurt us and push our buttons. We think that seeing them get payback or getting what we think they deserve will make things right; even. But it leaves us feeling empty. Two wrongs don't make a right.
Only love and forgiveness are wonderful enough and great enough to break the power of darkness.
As I sat and listened to the message, times when I've felt sorry for myself or frustrated from having to deal with an unpleasant person came to mind and the light bulb of revelation was lit. When I'd prayed for deliverance from a situation, I'd often wondered why God was silent. And I'd even questioned His goodness because my eyes were only on myself and how things "seemed" from my limited perspective. What if His allowing this unpleasantness in my life wasn't to punish me or to discipline me but was because He had entrusted me with a mission to minister the grace needed in that moment by that person? With everything I'd endured to that point, He had equipped me with empathy. But I wasn't able to see it because I did not avert my eyes away from myself and my own suffering to notice the suffering of my offender. Because I'd made it through so much, He had anointed me to be a beacon of hope. But I wasn't able to receive or give grace while questioning God's authority. I was the perfect person for the job. And I blew it. Self pity and offense are the children of rebellion & pride. We can see them clearly in others but are blinded to them in ourselves. But God's mercies are new every morning. His grace is more than sufficient for my failures and self-consumed heart. Today is a new day.
"Lord, please help me to serve You by serving others well, with humility, to the best of my ability. And to direct my eyes upward and outward; not inward and downward."
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